How Your Earlier Sabotage Have Usurped Your Self Love & Fulfillment
If you remember, “selfishness” was one of the first things you were accused of as a kid.
As a child, we innately knew to self preserve, so we gathered, possessed and protected what we deemed ours.
We fought to keep those things and when we refused to share, parents and others blamed us and said something like, ” why can’t you share?”, ” You are so selfish” or something like , ” don’t be selfish, share it with your sister”. And that was the beginning of bastardization of the word “selfish” in our mind.
This first blames have wreaked havoc and caused guilt, leading to unrealized lives for many people ever since.
This word, selfish, was used by these moralists to control us because they wanted to get their needs met – justifying their regretted morals. Others want what we have so as to meet their own needs from having us share and if we prefer to not share, we are labeled as selfish.
You can only truly share what you have. Until you truly feel and posses something, you can not, you are not qualified and it’s truly not yours to give away or share.
A good example is “love:”. Many people claim that they love. Nothing could be further from the truth. They are not even infatuated. That is why divorces are so rampant; loved ones killing of another so called loved ones is the number one suspicion, in murder investigations
Until you are truly selfish to realize and feel abundant, complete and fulfilled to even want to share, any pretended sharing or enforced sharing or required sharing as others or society seems to suggest or compel us to do is just attempts to look good, which is getting our needs met, which is also another expression of selfishness.
You truly cannot give away what is not yours. For example. Truly loving, is selfish because, you feel the love first and continue to savor the juice of enjoying the love you give as long as you continue to love. Who wants to give up enjoyment? Nobody. So, that is one proof that truly loving is so enjoyable that you do not want to stop loving, therefore. people who fall out of love never truly love, did not have the love to fall out of. Even when the other person you claim you love is not present, you still continue to love that person, that object or your just be loving for the love of it. Even if the person is dead, you still love her. It is selfish to love and It is not about the other person, it is about yourself being loving, full of love, fulfilled of it. Is that not so?
When you look back at your being accused of selfishness and the negativity attached to that word, selfish, you will discover that you have been robbed of your ability to feel comfortable fulfilling yourself. That such accusation left you with feeling of guilt for not sharing. But to truly share, you need to first be fulfilled, so full of yourself and who you, that you can only share the fullness thereof. Again, by then you would have realized that sharing is the only thing you can do so as to continue your selfishness, because, the acts of sharing is so enjoyable within you and you are fulfilled enough, that you want to enjoy yourself more.
Take the so called truly rich and wealthy, not the pretenders; and I don’t mean just being wealthy as in having lots of money, because there are many other ways of being rich. These people are true givers, sharing their wealth, fostering talents, supporting causes, risking. Take president Jimmy Carter, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, Frank Sinatra, Oprah Winfrey, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa and other unsung heroes like you, to mention a few. Their selfless, no, selfish contributions need not repeated here.
Back to selfishness and love, you can not know love until you love yourself which is self fulfillment in itself. Until you give to yourself fully, you truly cannot give to others, again, supporting the earlier allusion. Self love is traditionally judged as selfishness. And when you reflect, this judgement is usually by people who do not love themselves, jealous of you and in many cases, attempting to rob you and prevent you from self love by blaming you of selfishness.
Selfishness is your main and true responsibility in your life. Caring for yourself, meeting all your needs the way you see them, not through the dictates , doctrine, believes, suggested or lorded confusions of others.
Be selfish. Meet all your needs first.
In case of decompression during a plane flight, put the mask on yourself First!, breath normally. THEN, place an extra mask on other person, even if the other person is your child. You see; the airline person who put that in policy knows what I am talking about here.
You are no good to others if you are not selfishly fulfilled first. So, so, so, so
[ ] Be another person not in the business of jealousy and confusing others, causing obstruction of self fulfillment which leads to derailment of self realization and true freedom.
[ ] Heal yourself from unfathomable sense of guilt leading to lack of self fulfillment and self realization now that you have insights into your sabotage.
[ ] Be selfish, to be fulfilled and be free. The type of true freedom which is shareable in selfish ways.
Copyright 2019 – Jonathan Agbebiyi. MD. MBA. C.M.Ht, C.Ht, MT(ASCP)